Friday, June 5, 2009

"Get this mother%$#^ing snake, off my mother@&$%ing trail!"

**Mom, before I even begin this story, I just want you to know that no one was hurt.**

Yesterday, we began a two-day romp through the Laotian countryside that was supposed to involve some easy trekking, an elephant ride, and kayaking. It didn't really turn out that way, but it was an adventure nonetheless.

We began our day at the Elephant Village, the starting point for our trek. After our Sapa experience, none of us were really too keen on another intense hike, and we were promised that there was not much trekking involved in this particular tour. You learn to take everything you are told with a grain of salt in Southeast Asia, but we were a bit shocked to learn that our first day would involve 4-5 hours of trekking to get the village where we were to overnight. D'oh.

Thankfully, unlike Sapa, it was a beautiful, partly cloudy and not terribly hot day. We crossed rice paddies, hills, valleys, streams, and enjoyed the vistas through the beautiful countryside just outside Luang Prabang.


Minutes into the trek, our guide (who was great, unlike the Sapa dudes) found a leech on his ankle. While mildly unsettling, it was nothing compared to the LIVE SNAKE we saw on the trail. At one point, our guide stopped dead in his tracks and said, "Whoa, snake!" Just as he said this, Sneaky and I saw a long (probably about two feet) silvery-grey thing dash across the brush. It didn't slither at all--it was VERY fast and appeared to dart into the bushes in a straight line. It was one of the coolest things I have ever seen.

We broke for lunch in the middle of an open meadow, and after one hour of post-lunch walking arrived at the village where we were to spend the night. Hoify is a Khmu (ethnic Cambodian minority) village of approximately 75 families. When we arrived around 3:30 p.m., only the town children and elderly were around; everyone else was working in the fields. They returned around 6:00 p.m.

There are no roads into Hoify, so nothing can be trucked into the village. Everything that comes in must be carried or brought by tractor.



Most people in the village didn't seem too phased by us falang. I imagine they get quite a few tourists coming through. Apart from watching the kids play a traditional ball game, climb trees to pick fruit, the obvious language barrier kept us from more interaction than a wave hello.

Nonetheless, it was really fascinating and uplifting and tragic all at the same time to be in a place where people live such a traditional lifestyle. Laos is one of the poorest countries in the world, and while the NGO presence in Hoify has allowed for the construction of latrines and the harnessing of running water from the mountains into communal bath areas, the poverty can be staggering. At the same time, one realizes that kids are kids, and they can be just as happy playing with a toy car made from garbarge as they would be with a PSP.

Dinner was prepared for us by a widow with three daughters, which is presumably why she was chosen by our NGO-partnered eco-tour company. She runs the three-"room" homestay across the "street" from her one-room house.

After enjoying pork with chilis, bok choy, veggies, sticky rice, soup, and squirrel stew, we cursed ourselves for not thinking to bring along a deck of cards and decided to sample the village's locally-brewed lao lao. The 500 ml beaker we shared was significantly stronger than the stuff we drank at the bowling alley. Our guide told us that it isn't unusual for a Khmu man to drink 1.5 liters of the stuff by himself in one night--the very thought of that nearly made me yak. It also made me realizes why people in rural areas do meth: it's really, really boring to have nothing to do.



Another funny moment was noticing a small child wearing an Osama bin Laden t-shirt. After the three of us gasped, we realized he probably had no idea who the hell was on his shirt, and we were relieved to see his friend in tow in a Scarface t-shirt. There's room somewhere here for a Samuel Huntington/Clash of Civilizations joke, but I'm just too tired to think of it.

All in all, the subdivided thatched hut we slept in (with mosquito netting!) was exponentially more comfortable than Fansipan base camp. Unfortunately, much like in Sapa, we awoke to torrential rains and had to hike the hour back to the Elephant Village in a downpour (thankfully, it was much warmer than in Sapa.) After 20 minutes of elephant riding and still no sign that the rain would clear up, we gave up on the idea of kayaking back into town and tuk-tuked it back.

"Hey, goat! I like your beard. I had a beard like that in A Perfect Storm. You see that movie, goat? Say hi to your mother for me."


Cute enough to make you want to pull an Angelina!

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