Lady in the street, freak at the buffet

If you ever find yourself in Hanoi, might I recommend the Metropole Hotel's high tea and chocolate buffet. I crushed those tiny tea sandwiches like Godzilla crushed Mothra. The chocolate buffet was something truly extraordinary: tiny pound cakes with shot glasses of Nutella, mini opera cakes, Napoleons, mousses, crepes, and truffles galore.

I should mention that Fritz and I have had quotidien contests for the Fat Kid Award of the Day. We are hoping to purchase an actual belt at some point in the near future, so that the daily Fat Kid Award recipient can properly bask in the glow of victory. I am proud to report that I have won the last two of three contests involving any sort of buffet. Breakfast is quickly becoming my specialty. Kobayashi, you're going down.

Deep Though of the Day: If I ever start my own punk rock band, I think I'll call it the Famous Embalmed Communists

Why is it that communists have such an affinity for embalming their leaders and having them lay in state in perpetuity? Something to ponder...

Today, we visited the Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum complex, and saw Uncle Ho himself. He looks pretty good for being 119. The mausoleum is guarded by at least a dozen uniformed guards with bayonettes, and we all agreed that those guys are really high up on our list of people we would never, under any circumstances want to %$!@ with. Sneaky was chastised for putting his hands in his pockets while in the mausoleum. Those dudes are hardcore.

After a quick tour of his former residence and office as well as the Ho Chi Minh museum, we treated ourselves to a fantastic buffet lunch at the fancy-schmancy Metropole Hotel. The prix fixe appetizer buffet, main course and dessert buffet lunch was a whopping USD $20 per person; Somewhat outrageous for Vietnam, but the place was packed with power lunchers.

And my oh my, was it ever worth the $20 bucks! Sashimi, fresh spring rolls, noodles, pancakes, all kinds of fried Vietnamese delicacies I'd never even heard of. It was just the thing we needed after skipping breakfast to make it to the mausoleum on time! [Last tour is admitted at 10:15 a.m., in case you are thinking of visiting.]

This afternoon, we hit up the infamous "Hanoi Hilton," now a museum that documents the horrors inflicted there, first on the Vietnamese by the French, and of course later by the Vietnamese on the American pilots they captured. The propaganda photos and fliers they had on display were really something else. If you didn't know any better, you'd think that all the pilots there did was play volleyball, prepare elaborate Christmas feasts, and have their wounds carefully attended to by Vietnamese doctors. Extremely interesting exhibit to see; Quite famously, it includes John McCain's flight suit and parachute from when he was shot down over Truc Bach Lake.

All in all, a great day of sightseeing in charming Hanoi. Tomorrow we head for a two-day, one-night cruise in Halong Bay, which is supposed to be spectacular. I'll be sure to post photos from the boat.

A Night at the Opera

Tonight we saw Dream and Reality, a blog-opera at the Hanoi Opera House. Yes, you read that correctly; It was a blog-opera put on in joint partnership by the Swedish and the Vietnamese. The story centered around a female protagonist named An. A gifted musician, An wants to follow her passion by playing drums in a rock band. The antagonist, her cowboy-hat wearing capitalist father, wants her to study abroad--presumably in the US--so she can make more money. He had winning lines such as "Life is only worth living if you are rich." At some point in the opera, they visit a rural Vietnamese village, where of course all the peasants are perfectly happy and content to be living a traditional, agrarian lifestyle. Oh, there was also a girl who cut herself, a guy addicted to heroin, and another dude dying of blood cancer. Basically, it was the Vietnamese propaganda version of RENT, set in current-day Vietnam and prominently featuring blogger-musicians. Another line that generated big laughs among our party was: "But we are bloggers. We always tell the truth!" Indeed we do, my loyal readers. Indeed we do.